Out Of The Will Again
It all began innocently enough. I reflected on Fathers' Day, and found myself in deep doo-doo! You see, I not only have some wonderful father figures in my life, I also have a Tutter.
What exactly is a Tutter, you may ask? A Tutter is something no family should be without. With a Tutter, you never have to be hungry, organized, or tacky (as a Tutter can and WILL correct all those things!), never have to remember a recipe or phone number, and never have to recall how you are related to someone. Iguanas, spitting frogs, and crabs are no match for a Tutter either. A Tutter is better than a restaurant or grocery store, and can easily feed a family on Sunday as well as several college kids the rest of the week. A Tutter can come to the rescue, as well as listen to your troubles. Are you alone in this world? A Tutter can fix that too! Before you know it, a Tutter will put you right in the middle of a large family and mix you in so well that the younger ones don't know for years that you're not a blood relative.
Tutters are often referred to by other names. These include Julia, Sister, JuJu, Battle Axe, and Ms. Van Aster. The use of some of those might provoke a smile, and others might cause you to yell "uncle" while pinned behind the dining room table.
I really feel sorry for the rest of the world, because I am quite sure we have the only Tutter there is. This is really a good thing, as the world isn't ready for more than one. I know that I'd certainly be in more trouble than I already am! But I'm a jealous sort: Though I might share my Tutter with you, you can't have her. I might pick at her about her Clarabelle suits, dead pillows, and pizza recipes that self-destruct when they cross the state line, but I'll fight anybody around for her. I love my Tutter!
...Am I back in the will yet?
What exactly is a Tutter, you may ask? A Tutter is something no family should be without. With a Tutter, you never have to be hungry, organized, or tacky (as a Tutter can and WILL correct all those things!), never have to remember a recipe or phone number, and never have to recall how you are related to someone. Iguanas, spitting frogs, and crabs are no match for a Tutter either. A Tutter is better than a restaurant or grocery store, and can easily feed a family on Sunday as well as several college kids the rest of the week. A Tutter can come to the rescue, as well as listen to your troubles. Are you alone in this world? A Tutter can fix that too! Before you know it, a Tutter will put you right in the middle of a large family and mix you in so well that the younger ones don't know for years that you're not a blood relative.
Tutters are often referred to by other names. These include Julia, Sister, JuJu, Battle Axe, and Ms. Van Aster. The use of some of those might provoke a smile, and others might cause you to yell "uncle" while pinned behind the dining room table.
I really feel sorry for the rest of the world, because I am quite sure we have the only Tutter there is. This is really a good thing, as the world isn't ready for more than one. I know that I'd certainly be in more trouble than I already am! But I'm a jealous sort: Though I might share my Tutter with you, you can't have her. I might pick at her about her Clarabelle suits, dead pillows, and pizza recipes that self-destruct when they cross the state line, but I'll fight anybody around for her. I love my Tutter!
...Am I back in the will yet?
posted by Jennifer at 5:48 AM
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